So here I am 34 year old father of 3 relocating from the desolate yet beautiful state of Wyoming to the fast busy-body rush rush rush Massachusetts.  I must say at first it was quite overwhelming, although not even close to New York City, but still quite different than walking out on your front porch and seeing deer on a daily basis with nothing but cool, clean ,brisk air that makes it way into your nostrils. Quite a bit has changed since those beautiful quiet mornings I used to enjoy so much.  For starters, nearly 10 years I lived in Wyoming and in that time frame I locked my car once, just one. Shortly after arriving in Massachusetts, within the first few weeks my car was emptied out of every little thing in there, including my steel toe boots, 2 micro usb charging cords, and a dog tag… who takes a dog tag? I mean come on.  Anyways I’m off topic.  Ah yes cool clean air.  what I loved the most to be honest was it was quiet… very quiet.  there isn’t an hour that goes by here in Massachusetts I hear sirens of some sort or someone blasting their radio all hours of the day and night like the life we live in is a rave.  Well yes more people normally means more sounds and sirens moving about, more people getting hurt, etc.  It makes it hard to think from time to time, I have enough thoughts floating through my brain as it is.  So here I am opening a new chapter of my life.  The kids didn’t much like the change my oldest used to have 15 or so people in her classroom but now has upwards of 30 people, majority of them are rude, hateful, however there are some fun people or so I’m told.  Poor girl wears her heart on her sleeve, wants everyone to be her friend and desperate for it, I remember that when I was a child and moved so many times, uprooted over and over wanting so bad some of the friendships I seen throughout my younger years people that have known each other their whole life from the time they were “tots”.  So I do understand that feeling and how much it frankly… sucks lol.  I was always told by everyone I knew about how brilliant I was, how I would be someone someday, about how I would do great things.  I used to put both feet in in everything I did with everything I had.  Sadly this has seemed to disappear,  now it seems as if I put forth a bunch of effort and the first obstacle that comes up I just surrender abruptly.  This isn’t me, I keep telling myself what happened, how did this happen etc.  So finally I have come to the realization that I am doing these things and stopping myself, basically holding myself back from being great.  I have worked a few jobs here some I enjoyed, others not so much.  One of the first jobs I worked the owner was rather flaky and didn’t want to pay me on time and when I was paid on time it was always short.  This job I truly loved and enjoyed what I did however I was far to worried about the fact I have kids to support and them to think about first and foremost.  Whether I was happy or not doing it, it did not pay the bills as it should so I moved on.  Then I worked for another outfit that was great, the owner was a standup guy, hard working, knowledgeable, understanding.  By far one of the best bosses I had ever worked with.  However I ended up moving on as the commute was too stressful on the vehicle.  I shall leave it to that thus far this evening. and continue again another day.  This is simply my ramblings, like them, hate them it doesn’t matter.   For those of you reading, thank you for taking the time.